Wednesday, May 9, 2018
Tuesday, February 28, 2017
Monday, December 12, 2016
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood
By Pablo neruda
I read this poem and couldn't find any other word to express it but to replicate it. This lines have so perfectly depicted the love hate relationship. It would have taken such deep understanding to write these lines. Such great impact and such a pure soul this poem has.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
When I was young, I used to think what will happen to all of us after these many years, how will the life turn out to be and various other questions. Life as people say is unpredictable but still people like predicting, may be that's fun. Sometimes you are right and sometimes you are wrong.
There used to be a question which every teacher, relative and family friends used to ask me... what will you like to be when you grow up ?
I used to have few different answers. Depending on the people and mood I am in, I used to give the answers. I think cricketer and astronomer were the two prominent choices. These two choices even have their backgrounds. The main thing was that I used to feel that we can be anything and that is the child like quality which I think we must possess.
I used to feel, if I will put my mind on some work then I will.definitely succeed. Further, my mother is a really inspiring woman who has been a fighter in her life. She used to tell me one thing always that if people can do it then you can do it. It can be done and you can do it.
After some years while I was still growing up, the people around me changed. I think the world is like that only. People became judgemental. Everything that you will say was measured with what you are doing. The end result is you become circumspect. You grow up and you stop sharing what is in your heart. You start talking as the world talks and do as the world do.
In that part of my growing up journey, I feel I was completely lost. I was hardly aware where I was going. In life change is inevitable. I was waiting for a change to come to my life.
There were many changes that came to my life. It swept me off my feet, blew me everywhere and I hardly had any idea where it was taking me. The only think was I that I was travelling and travelling really fast. I covered lots of places in this phase of my life. Lots of learning that happened in this place.
Still the peace eluded me. Till the day I finally found the answer for the question which I was asked in my childhood...what will you like to be when you grow up ?
I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be at peace. I decided that from this day onwards I will try to remove every negative thing from my life, everything that doesn't help me grow and everything that makes me sad. I decided from this day nobody will be in a position to put me down, to make me feel bad, to stop me from growing and who will not let me be happy and peaceful. I decided that I will follow it whosoever had it may be but I will never let myself reach the situations and places which I have left behind.
The good thing is I have seen life...the good, the bad and the times which people don't want even their enemies to see. I understand life and could tell where things will go. With this I come to full circle in my life where in childhood I used to wonder why people predict but it is hardly predicting. It is kind of a wisdom that tells you a probable outcome of the situations.
Now I feel I am ready for more journeys in my life.
Sunday, June 19, 2016
The sunlight was entering the room through a small window. The boy who was sleeping in his bed turned his face around so that the light doesn't disturb his sleep. He was really tired after an eventful week with his friends and family. He wished he could just sleep some more time...
He turned around and this time the sunlight was brighter. He could understand that the day has long begun and he would be late if he doesn't wake up now...
He woke up with a headache, the reason for which he could hardly remember. He stood up and saw empty liquor bottles lying in front of the mirror. He went there to put them aside. He stood infront of the mirror to see himself... just to find a grown up man staring back at him from the mirror.